When liberals reach their senior year in college they are almost ready to wiggle out of the college cocoon, spread their wings and flutter off on their own. But the prospect of leaving the safety of the cocoon can be terrifying for liberal butterflies. No longer will they be surrounded by their fellow liberal students, reinforcing their progressive feelings, parroting each other’s liberal chatter, reassuring each other. Graduating seniors in previous years have experienced confusion, extreme vacillation, an inability to make basic decisions, and emotional breakdowns due to this sudden exit from the cocoon.
Universities have therefore begun providing training in the use of a revolutionary new app designed to keep graduates plugged into the cocoon mind.
Lib-Brain provides ‘group think’ solutions to graduates isolated in the unreconstructed world of deplorables.
Undecided on what you want for lunch? Let Lib-Brain make up your mind for you.
Not up to speed on the latest issue? Lib-Brain will explain your opinion to you.
Feeling ‘triggered’? Lib-Brain links with Map Quest to show you the most scenic route to the nearest safe space.
Thinking by yourself is dangerous. It’s very hard to do, and may result in incorrect thoughts and opinions. Thinking needs to happen in concert with your fellow students, with professors on hand to help clarify issues, and guide you to your own thoughts.
Lib-Brain lets you stay connected to the liberal hive mind after you have to leave the safety of the university setting. Get Lib-Brain and you’ll never have to think again!
[not a real app. this post meant as entertainment]